if something bad is gonna happen its gonna happen no matter what, wether I’m happy or sad. so I just need to learn how to be happy and stay that way and not worry about something that I cant control and really something that im pretty sure and hoping is not even gonna happen. I just think the worst always I gotta stop and realize that their not that person anymore and just enjoy the fact I have what I want. I hate my brain and the way it thinks tho, why can’t it be normal?  I’m such a difficult odd weird human being. I’m an old spirit trapped in this new age I feel and it’s hard to have people understand my beliefs and the way I feel about things and choices i make, which makes this ten times harder.